Tuesday, 11 April 2017

Mamas I Admire, #1: My Mummy

As my pregnancy progresses, I find myself contemplating more and more the type of mother I wish to become, and reflecting on the many mothers who have helped to shape my views and ideas about motherhood. Through a series of 'Mamas I Admire' posts, I will showcase some of the most magnificent mothers I know, who inspire me and others around them and whom I hope to emulate in some way or another as I embark upon my journey of motherhood.

There is only one place to get started on this series of posts, and that, of course, is with my own mother. Helen, Mama, Mummy, Maja... She goes by many names, but funnily enough, I never call her 'mum'. It just doesn't seem enough of a word to do her justice. She deserves more syllables; more breath dedicated to calling her.

My Mama is undoubtedly one of the strongest human beings I have ever come across in my life, and the extent of her strength is becoming even more apparent to me now as I go through my own pregnancy. Just consider the fact that she was horribly deserted by her long-term partner in the early stages of carrying me, and that she continued to work full-time in her hectic TV producing job right up until the very day I was born (I arrived early - surpriiiise!), and then proceeded to raise me entirely as a single mother with absolutely zero input or support on the paternity front... I cannot even begin to imagine the amount of fear she must have felt at bringing this new life into the world on her own, and the amount of sacrifices she made in order to raise me in a way whereby I never even felt anything was missing as I grew up.

She showered me with unconditional love, affection and support right from my very earliest memories, and still does to this day. I never wanted for anything. She juggled her career with always dropping me off and picking me up from school, and always cooking and eating our meals together. I never had a nanny or au pair, and rarely even a babysitter. I never felt I was lacking in love due to only having one parent. She surrounded me with positive male role models from a young age, to look up to in the absence of my father, and she made me believe I was special and capable of anything.

The bond between a single mother and her only child is truly unbreakable and insurmountable by distance, as we have learnt since I moved overseas 5 years ago. Sometimes I feel guilty about moving so far away and leaving her alone, and of course I miss her immensely on a daily basis, but she never doubted my ability to thrive and succeed on my own two feet, in a new country, amidst a different culture. In fact, she encouraged me to pursue my dreams wherever they may lead me, and thanks to her guidance and love as my mother, she is the one who provided me with the foundations upon which to grow, to become independent, and to spread my wings and fly.

I could fill the pages of a rather lengthy book recounting stories of my Mama's love, strength and support, her struggles and sacrifices to give me the best possible childhood and to raise me into becoming the woman that I am today. Perhaps I will write a book about it one day, because some of the things we went through and some of the trials and tribulations we overcame are really quite extraordinary. But for now, I shall simply end this blog post by saying how words are not enough to express the gratitude I feel towards my Mama, and if I can be even half the mother to my baby that she has been to me, I will be considered a great mothering success.

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